EHarmony, match.com, chemistry.com, so on and so forth, are we for it or against it? I want to hear your opinions! In recent conversations with many of my friends regarding dating and dating websites there seems to a lot of a back and forth over the ordeal of finding love on the net. One of my dear roomies says "Rosie, it’s the same principle walking into a bar full of strangers and meeting someone there". Good point, right? One of my guy friends simply says "C’mon B, it’s what desperate unattractive chics do, chill with that". Hmm…we'll leave that alone, for now. [lol] I was thinking though, if the whole point of these sites is to match you up with someone who you are compatible with, in theory it makes a lot of good sense, no? So why the bad stigma? Perhaps its the horror stories of people being dishonest on their profiles or not showing up for dates...as a matter of fact, a divorce lawyer I know recently told me her client's grounds for divorce is "My Husband is on match.com" [How you like those apples?]. Obviously it is more than possible to experience these things in regularly too. Maybe I question the skepticism because I'm guilty of it myself when it comes to this. Call me old fashioned but I appreciate the organic way you can meet someone through mutual friends, by chance, or in any other social situation. But what if all of those ways just haven't worked out? Is it so bad to want to cut out the [potential] BS and get hooked up virtually? Let's be honest, love doesn't make relationships work, compatibility and the willingness to work at it are the major factors most people are missing. Yeah, yeah, I know every relationship and situation is special but I don’t want to get specific. The point I’m trying to make here is; since you still never know what people are looking for when you meet them the in general, is it so bad to meet them on a site that not only serves a common purpose in what you’re looking for, but matches you up with whom they think you're compatible with. And the other question is, am I crazy for considering this? Do you agree with my roommate or my guy friend? Talk to me people...
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2 comments:
i think online dating gets a terrible rep. for starters, i think it forces you to be your real self - you get to know the actual person so much more when you're just communicating in email and phone convos, versus being distracted (and often blinded) by the physical stuff - clothes, looks, etc. (i once stopped dating a guy because i hated his jeans for example) that doesn't mean there's only ugly ppl online, either, but i think that's what is assumed. i feel like the things we really connect on as humans are the intangibles - music taste, morals/values, humor, etc., and you automatically lead with that stuff in online dating. at times we feel like we know ppl better if we meet them "in real life" first, but do we really? i mean, how well do you actually KNOW someone you're dating after a month or 2? not so much. that said, i do think it's a personal style kinda thing. some ppl are just more open to different things than others. for me, i'd rather meet online than on the train, where i'd likely ignore you anyway. i do think being open is key in dating, especially as you get older. the same guy you meet in starbucks could be the exact same dude with the chemistry.com profile - why cut yourself off from one option of meeting him?
Whatever makes people happy! Anyway you can find love then go for it!
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