Damn! everyone is in the mood to talk about the "lovery" lately... Must be the V-day bug... So As per a conversation I had with one of my homeboys yesterday, knowing I am a lover of all things quoted he hit me with this personal one: "In life we come across certain things that you think is great but it may be bad for you. Sometimes you have to make the hardest decision and let things go and if it was real love and it was meant to be it will come back, if not you know it was not real love. But the question is what is real love? & do u settle when you are in love? - My answer to him was absolutely not. I feel like when you are truly in love there is no where else I'd... (eh-hem) ..You'd rather be than in love with that one person no matter what the circumstances are, whether its long distance, you have financial troubles, if your peoples don't approve, despite it all, in that moment you can't even see outside the box so how could you possibly be settling?
And so now my question is would you ever choose to settle and stay if you are no longer in love with that person? I know some that think its OK because the excuse is ..."well, we've invested so much, so.." is that alright?? and how would you feel if you found out that the person you love is only with you because they've already "invested" so they feel like they might as well stay?
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I feel alot of time people settle cause sometimes let's keep it funky people hate to start all over in regards to dating and then knowing if they are the right one, if they here for the right reasons or do you give up on something that in the back of your mind you wonder " I have been here 4 years and they are still doing things that i have asked to change. Do I leave and try to find better or stay and hope at some point they may change." The big questions sometimes you have to ask youself is: When you are in love how do you make that lost last for years and years? I am just speaking from my thoughts and I look at any relationship I am in now I want a "Power Couple". Let me go deeper about it; Power couple is one of those couples that they are not your lover, husband, wife, but your best friend. At the same time they understand you and everything you come with and you understand them the same way. Is a "Power Couple" hard to find? How do you know you are in a "Power Couple".... I am still asking myself to this day.... ..... I feel when you have the "Power Couple" all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride....
Anonymous:
OK,I can definitley understand why some people would not want to start all over again but see that's what I mean, in that case you're just comfortable & settling,you have to ask your self if comfortable is good enough for you.
Trust,I'm no expert on this love thing, so I don't have a formula of how to make it last...if I did I'd bottle it up, advertise on this blog, sell it & live happily ever after!! However I do think its all about how much you're willing to work & finding your OWN rythm with one another in all aspects. Don't TRY to be a "Power couple" or a "sexy couple" or a "Fly couple" just be YOU. Do what works for YOU. I think alot of the mistakes that people make in relationships stem from the moments in which they let other couples influence the way they look at their own sittuations...don't get caught up in all that, & besides...you're on the outside looking in you have no idea what their life is really like. No one sits back & enjoys the ride babe, it ALL takes work & patience & lots of Love.
(...Man i think i just got My Dr. Phil on...lol)
ooh the ever so revolving topic of love :)
5yrs ago..I would have said you make it work..bc that's what I was doing..making it work...my feeling today, love is work yes, but it should never truly to the core feel like work..after my 4yr relationship fell apart..for a good year or two I was like.."ugh i don't want to meet anyone again..it's too much work.." lol but if the love is gone or things have changed (bc people change)...and in a relationship if you at whatever point stopped growing together...no matter what you try to do to make yourself feel like you can get it back on track...you can't..because that will ultimately lead to one person having to deny themselves or feelings..which only leads to resentment.
in this journey called life..you need to take everything about it including LOVE just like that...a journey...i thought "omg i'm never going to fall in love again"..that's not true at all, i've felt love again...may not have worked out, but i've felt it..and learned and have grown..the idea that you have to find JUST that one is a little fairy tale-ish and impractical..so take the journey, you may have some challenges...get hurt...but you know what..you only have to get it right ONE TIME to appreciate and recognize what real love should be.
Jillian, I agree about not holding on to the idea that you only have the ONE love or one chance at love. Life is all about experience and growth, true you can't always have a fairy tale but you can always be open to trying again.
Jillian, I agree about not holding on to the idea that you only have the ONE love or one chance at love. Life is all about experience and growth, true you can't always have a fairy tale but you can always be open to trying again.
OHHHHH....THE LOVERY....
I CERTAINLY BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT SETTLE....FOR ANYTHING CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU ARE NOT HAPPY AND YOU ARE WASTING THAT PERSONS TIME. (PERIOD)
AND TO ANONYMOUS....IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY YEARS YOU INVESTED, AGAIN IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY....UR NOT HAPPY!!!
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