Dash of Reality: Shades Don't Give You Swagg

This post was written by my friend and now guest blogger, Lenny J. Thanks again for sharing homie! I hope the people of All Things Fly will enjoy it as much as I did. It's just a dash of reality folks, Cuz Lenny Said So:

If you’re anything like me, then you’ve noticed this awful trend that has been spreading worse than the swine flu, for more than 2 years. It’s been seen among every hood, suburb, nationality, age group, race, color and creed. If you haven’t guessed it yet, I’m talking about people wearing SUNGLASSES WHEN THERE’S NO DAMN SUN. If you’re as sick of it as I am, put a fist in the air. I honestly can’t believe we’ve allowed this to go on for so long. I don’t know where it started but it’s gone way too far. I’ve been trying to make sense of it for a very long time now, and I came up with a few scenarios.

THEY REALLY THINK THEY’RE TOO COOL. These bozos have it in their head that wearing sunglasses in the club gives them some type of swag. Damn shame. Do you see them?? If you haven’t paid close enough attention to them, just imagine you’re filming an episode of National Geographic’s but you’re in the club and not the jungle. Just watch them from afar for like 5 minutes. Notice that they walk around the club like they’re rappers or something. It’s like they’re actually embodying the foolishness they see on TV. I don’t understand how we’ve allowed this to go on for so long. First and foremost, you can’t see. If you can’t see then you can’t defend yourself. Your subject to get punched in the face and you won’t even know who did. I was taught that as a man you’re supposed to be able to defend yourself at all times, NO EXCEPTIONS.

I know this may sound a little harsh but trust me, I’m not a hater. I’m sorry but it makes me sick to my stomach every time I see this “tom foolery” in the club or when it’s dark outside. Look, I know I have a strong opinion of certain things, but I’m trying to be objective and give these people the benefit of the doubt sometimes. I’ve been searching for a viable excuse to give ya’ll a pass but I can’t come up with anything that makes realistic sense. To be honest, the reality is these clowns are using sunglasses as a camouflage to keep people from seeing how corny they really are. Just think about it for a sec. if you can’t look a person in their eyes, they might be able to fool you into believing they have some type of swag or personality. They’ve probably practiced the walk in the mirror, bought all the clothes, and even rehearsed the dialect to where they think they sound as cool as a Jay-Z. They only thing that they can’t fake is their soul. If you look a person in their eyes, their corniness will pour out of their eyes, nose, mouth and ears almost like squeezing a jelly. They can’t hide it no matter how hard they try. And ladies I know you get mad when meet a dude you think might be alright. But when you talk to them later in the week you realize you caught a brick. Sunglasses allow them to be whomever they want. It’s like their actors in a Broadway play and the lights are blinding them and they can’t see the crowd. They can act out any part they want and have the audience believe whatever they want. Don’t fall for it.

I’m sorry, but ladies, I blame this on you. You should never give a dude some play wearing sunglasses in the club. If the women unite against this abomination, it can be huge. It can be as big as the women’s rights movement of the 60’s. Hold up. Now that I think about it, some of you ladies are doing this foolishness too. Yeah, don’t frown up your face now. You’re just as guilty as these dudes. I’ve seen you walking around thinking your cute because your sunglasses matched your bag and you didn’t want to mess up your outfit. You think you get a PASS??? HELL NO!!!! I’m lost now. It pains me to see such clown behavior amongst our people. I just want us to get better. I’m at a loss right now. I really don’t know what to do. I guess all I can do is beg you, please, please, please, when the sun goes down or you walk into a building, take the sunglasses off. If not for yourself, do it for your country, do it for your children, do it for the future. We’re in a real “dark” place right now and we need everyone’s help to get through these tough times and move so we can be GREAT.